Filed under: Personal Development, spiritual — Tags: blog, book, depression, life, Love, national, news, statistics, suicide — LaRene @ 11:00 pm

On our local news the other night, they gave the national and local statistics on depression and suicides. It was disturbing to hear how high the numbers were. The numbers, I assume were based on people receiving help or those who have already committed or attempted suicide. What about the ones who are in denial or sitting on the edge?

It bothered me because I have been at both ends of the spectrum. As a child, I was very depressed and it was comfortable to be there. So what changed and how did I work myself out of this dark place. First, you need to know what caused the depression if you want to come out. For me, it happened at the age of four. My mother died and our father walked out on us. This experience plunged me into deep waters for survival.

Luckily, I was too young to understand how to end my life. My mother had taught me to pray before she left. Each night, I prayed for God to end my life. While other children were praying for a bike or something new. I wanted to stop breathing. The pain was too much for me, and I went deeper into depression every time I woke up.

So what happened? How did I come from such a dark beginning to a bright and wonderful life leaving all scars behind me? I did it without medication so I know exactly what steps I took. For the record, there isn’t a magic bullet. You can take steps to prevent yourself from getting in this state and keeping yourself out. Once, you get help.

I want to share what I did in hopes you find something helpful. The turning point in my life came unexpected and it showed me how scarred I was. I was an adult and my negative thought patterns were deeply entranced in my mind. In my book, How to Rebuild Shattered Dreams, I go into detail on how I got into this depression and how I came out. So here, I’m going to only give a highlight. If you want more information, there is always the book.

If you had asked me about depression years ago, I would’ve answered that I had never felt it. I wasn’t lying. What I’m saying is, I had never felt joy so I did not know the difference. How do you understand light, if you had never seen it?

This is what I discovered and I plan on covering it in the next four-blog articles. The plan is to break it down into small bits so you can see something useful to ingrain into your life. We are in denial not because we want to be. We are there because we do not know better or we’re afraid the truth might be unmanageable.

Before you can help yourself, you need to see where you truly are. This can be very frightening. At least, it was for me. Years ago, we had a son from his birth who always seemed angry. He had a big chip on his shoulder.

After weeks of trying different ideas, my husband, Jack came up an idea of taking our son to a mirror and not letting him leave until he had told himself twenty-five times that he loved Josh. After the first week, our son started to change.

For the next few paragraphs, I’m taking excerpts from my book.

In my amazement, Josh started to change. He became happier. One day, Jack invited me to see Josh repeat his words, I love Josh, twenty-five times. Grinning, Josh passed by as Jack smiled at me. Reaching a hand out to me, he asked, “Can you do it?”

Fear consumed me as I attempted to follow Josh. I said, “Sure, anyone can do that. It’s easy.” Before I could leave the doorway, Jack had a hold of my wrists and yanked me into the room. Leaving me in front of the mirror, he stood in the doorway and said, “You do it.”

As I stared at myself, I became even more afraid. The fear became so strong that I felt like Jack had just shoved me into a cage with a hungry tiger. I felt trapped, fear charging throughout every cell of my body. I looked at Jack with my face as white as a ghost. Not giving him notice, I charged him, expecting him to move.

He didn’t and I was so afraid. Not realizing what I was doing, I stepped on his thigh, attempting to climb over him. Jack grabbed a hold and pulled me down. With his arms wrapped around me, he easily brought me back in front of the mirror and repeated his words.

Seeing myself in the mirror, I fought to get away from his grip. Being only ninety-eight pounds, it was easy for Jack to hold me. He repeated his words and I pleaded with him to let me go. When he said no, I felt the invisible arms join him.

Being so familiar with Him, I pleaded with Him to help me get away from Jack. Instantly, I knew HE was was on Jack’s side as well. Looking at myself, I started to cry from the depths of my soul. By doing it, I saw in mind all the layer of shock that I had endured at the hands of others. For the first time, my soul felt the love from the invisible arms.

After being in Jack’s and my creator’s arms, I couldn’t get the vision of all the layers of scars out of my mind. What were they made from? How would i see them now for the first time? I had so many questions, not realizing what was being opened up to me. Hope was being breathed into my life, my soul, and my heart for the first time. It was a chance to rid myself of the pain I had endured for so many years. It started to consume me.

You have to see and embrace the fact you are depressed before you can change anything and get help. Next time, I want to talk about how to recognize the thought patterns that take you down the path towards depression. If you understand how to get there, you will know how to bring yourself back. Sign up for a update at the site www.Rebuild-Shattered-Dreams.com for the next installment.

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Filed under: Personal Development — Tags: horses, Internet, journal, news, outdoor, story, stress, Yellowstone — LaRene @ 11:37 pm

Lately, we had the manufacturers of outdoor equipment hold a show in our city. They paid for a poll that the news reported on. The poll asked teenagers across the nation what outdoor equipment they liked or were interested in the most. The outdoor equipment folks were shocked by the answers to their questions, which caused our local news to report it.

Teenagers weren’t interested in anything that had to do with outdoors. They would rather watch other people enjoy it on the Internet. This is helpful since Yellowstone just put “Old Faithful” on the Internet. You can see eruptions from your computer. Since, I’ve seen “Old Faithful” erupt in person numerous times. The mist on your face and feeling the power of the geyser really adds to the experience.

My next story is dedicated to those people who would rather enjoy the outdoors on the Internet. Since, we all know that breathing deeply releases stress from our bodies. I request you take some deep breaths now and during the story. So you can benefit from the exercise and adventure that I’m about to tell you.

This story takes place on a twenty-eight thousand acre island that sits in the middle of the Great Salt Lake. The largest salt-water lake in the world and it’s only thirty minutes from downtown Salt Lake City. Our mountains are close by, you can reach them from fifteen to thirty minutes from downtown. The time depends on where you are going.

On Antelope Island, you can bike, camp, hike or do my favorite, horseback riding. We share the island with approx. 550-700 bison or buffalo, as I like to call them. When you are on the trails, you can see coyotes, mule deer, prong horned antelope, bobcats , badgers, porcupines and jack rabbits. The animals I see the most are buffalo and jackrabbits. Winter, late fall and early spring is the best time to ride on the island. The summers are too hot and we would rather ride in the mountains where it is cool.

What I like about the island, there is no civilization on it. You feel like you are back in the old west. There is one bird species on the island that I dearly love. The meadowlark is there abundantly. In the spring, you can hear them all around you singing back and forth to each other. They are my favorite songbird.

One day, my husband and our neighbor were riding horses on the island. They were following the trails like they were requested to do. This day, the trail they were on went along the edge of the shores. The water was still and blue. Then the trail left the shores and headed up the side of a tall hill. They were reaching the top when they encountered a lone buffalo bull all by himself.

As they passed him, my husband pulled out his camera to take a picture. Before he could take it, the bull charged them. Somehow, he held onto the camera but lost his cowboy hat.  His horse, Socks,  bolted down the path with our neighbor following him. They hadn’t gone far when the bull stopped chasing them. Our neighbor had been riding on the island for ten years and he had never had a buffalo bother him. So he decided to go back for my husband’s hat.

When he reached the hat, Jay got off his horse and picked it up. The bull decided that he wanted the hat. He charged them. Jay jumped on his horse with the hat and off at a full gallop. Touchy, his horse, was fast. It became a race and the bull was gaining. Now, we understand why our ancestors wrote in their journals that it was dangerous to hunt them. They can ran fast or faster than a horse.

They have a strange shape and you wouldn’t think they could move fast because of it. It didn’t take the bull long to have his head in the tail of Jay’s horse. Before he rammed his horse, the bull just stopped.

What a memorable ride. I hope you were breathing deeply so you get the advantages of the exercise and relieve some stress. It’s great to get out and take a deep breath of fresh air. it really has a great affect on us.

The next time, you need to relax and you can’t go on a ride, hike, or walk. Close your eyes and take in a deep breath. It will relieve stress and it might help you get through the day a little healthier and easier. Have a great day!

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Filed under: Getting Published, Personal Development, success — Tags: blog, book, broker, dreams, Journel, life, novel, real estate, talent, writing — LaRene @ 5:08 am

People are starting to know me as a novelist. I’m surprised to learn how many people want or are trying to become an author of books. It surprises me because it wasn’t my goal to be an author. Before I wrote my first novel, I never ever thought about writing. Instead, I went to great lengths to avoid it.

From what I hear from other authors, I think my story is unique. Most people, I’ve spoken too thought about writing their story a lot. They planned out what they were going to write, the genre, and the outline of how the story unfolded. For me, my story is different. I accidentally discovered a story that was inside of me. Then I couldn’t’ stop it from coming out.

I’ve found people fascinated with this story on how I became an author, So I decided to write about it on my blog, rebuild shattered dreams. Maybe it might inspire someone to discover a hidden talent that they might have been buried deep inside, like me. Sometime, we have no idea what we can do until we have no choice but to walk through our fears and do it. This is what happened to me. I’m so grateful for the experience. It showed a side of me that I didn’t know existed.

Before I tell you my story, I need to point out one more thing. This is important to know. I found writing anything to be emotionally painful. In my book, “How to Rebuild Shattered Dreams,” I go into detail about why a simple note terrified me. Today, I’m going to tell something that I didn’t put in the book. How I was forced to face my fear of writing.

For five years of my life, I had been a real estate agent and enjoyed it. Finally at the end of my fourth year, I decided to get my real estate brokers license. After, I received it. I made the choice to go out on my own. For me, it was the smartest thing, I ever did. What happened next made it possible for me to deal with the changes that were about to take place in my life.

It was November 2000 and for the first time in my career, I had sold my entire inventory. It was strange to have no buyers either. In my area, November and December are traditionally our slowest months in real estate. Ever though, I have written and presented offers on Christmas Eve. This year, it was going to be different. I was tired and grateful to take a break.

Five days into my vacation, I had the most bizarre event take place in my life that has permanently changed my life. I woke up discovering that I couldn’t speak. My voice was gone. When I tried to force a whisper, it caused my lungs to go into long coughing spells. If I laughed, the coughing spells would appear. It sounded and felt like I was coughing up my lungs.

The problem didn’t make it easy for me to go out into public. I wasn’t sick. The doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with me. They just called it a virus assuring me that I would have to ride it out. Little did I know that it would take me ninety days for my voice to return and my lungs be able to take a deep breath again.

The winter was long and cold. We had little wind and storms in our area. When you live in the tops of mountains, you can easily get an inversion where the cold air is trapped to the floor of the valley. This happens when you have little wind or storms. Even if no one lives in the valley, it can happen. Our inversion spread from Provo, Utah to Pocatello, Idaho and it was thick.

I struggled to go outside and breath the air that winter. Never in my life had my lungs been a problem for me, so why was the winter of 2000 to 2001 different. My health problems trapped me inside a room in my home. I couldn’t be away from the humidifier or air purifiers without my lungs coughing to hard it could cause my bladder to have problems. They weren’t portable. So every morning, I picked a room and stayed there all day breathing fresh, moist air.

In November 2000, I did not have an email address and I don’t think I knew someone who did. Maybe, I did know someone. I just didn’t use them because I was terrified to write. I do know they weren’t as popular then as they are today. Either way, I had to write down my thoughts on a note pad if I wanted something. Remember, I told you earlier that I found writing emotionally painful and it terrified me.

This virus seemed to perfectly design to force me to face my fears. In the process, I discovered something very special regarding me. Those ninety days, I spent trapped in a room with a humidifier and air purifier has forever changed my life. It changed my career and how I view the world in away, I cannot ever go back…

This post is getting a little long. In my next post, I’ll tell you what happened, during those ninety days. My hope is it inspires you find something special about yourself. I’ll see you next time. Below are a couple of the books, I wrote because of this experience.

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Filed under: Getting Published, Personal Development, spiritual — Tags: , depression, goal, lives, Love, teaching — LaRene @ 12:56 am

I’ve had a goal for a year to get started with blogging. It seems like something always get in the way. With a new year, I’m going to blog and get to know you all.

For me, I’m use to teaching. I can see with blogging. You need to just talk. If I’m going to share myself, then I need to start at the beginning. People seem to find it interesting. It’s a surprised to me because I think my life is boring.

I was abandoned at the age of four being told no one wanted my two siblings or me. My life mirrored the words of my father. I raised myself. My sibling and I were spilt up and really didn’t get to see each other. No one stepped in on our lives, inviting us to be permanently apart of their family.

As a child, I want into a deep spiritual depression at the young age of eight. It’s an interesting story on how I worked my way out. If I was old enough to understand suicide, I think I would have done it.

Today, I’m not a just a survivor of a serious bad situation. This is important for you to know. I’m a conqueror. I dearly love my past. It taught me lessons about life that I now share with others. People are changing their lives.

I’m an author of numerous books and I teach seminars on how to deal with disappointments and rebuild shattered dreams. Disappoints are very important aspect of your life. They make up of who you are. So often, we wear them on our sleeve as a badge of pain. This is why I can’t have a wonderful life. This happened to me.

Do you find yourself doing something that isn’t really what you want to do? How often have you tried to change it only to have it unmovable? Or you will the behavior to change only to have it come back when you relax. It is possible to change anything about your life with ease when you know how to do it?

I’ve learned we easily can and do program our minds. Is your mind working against or for you? I have so many subjects that I could talk about it. I’m not sure where to begin.

Ask me what it is that you keep hitting up against a wall and you just seem like you can’t get through it. Tell me what it is and I can tell you how to understand what is happening to you. Maybe, you can understand how to change your life?

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Filed under: Personal Development, spiritual, success — Tags: fear, feelings, mind, shock, thoughts — LaRene @ 10:48 pm

So many times, I think we have a tenancy to blame ourselves for getting into an unpleasant situation. When it happens, we put up our guards or walls determined to not let it happen again. After we set ourselves behind our protective walls, we vigilantly watch for it to happen again. This time, we won’t be surprised because we are expecting it. Do our walls protect us or are we setting it up to happen repeatedly?

How many times have we built these walls? Not knowing, it is a perfect recipe for experiencing the situation over and over again. We attract to us the kind of people who can hurt us all because our unconscious mind is focused on what we do not want. So we relive the same negative emotions on a daily bases behind our walls. As a Man Thinkth so is He is one of truest words that have ever been stated.

Our lives are a mirror of our thoughts. The feeling of fear and shock that we were hurt tell us. We are thinking about it daily on a subconscious level. Do you know how to let go of a painful past experience? There are several things you can do. One of my favorite is to go to the origin of the first time, I experienced the painful moment

Mentally, I picture my younger self. I tell myself that I’m from the future and I want my younger self to know that they will be okay. It helps to put your arms around the younger self, telling them that you love them. Tell yourself, it’s okay that they brought pain into your life and you forgive them. You came back to tell them that they will be okay and it necessary to hide behind walls. This will melt the shock of the painful moment.

Our unconscious minds are very eager to please us and it thinks by building a wall around you. It is helping. What it does is hurt us more. We become frozen in this moment of pain and fear. Everyday are lives are being filtered through that moment. Is this really what you want?

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Filed under: Personal Development, fears, success — Tags: , dreams, lives, self-help, success — LaRene @ 11:47 pm

You have probably have heard the saying, “There are two thing that you can always count on. It is death and taxes. I want to add a third element that haunts our steps. It is fear and everyone has felt it at least once in our lives. Fear can stop us from having happiness and becoming who we want to be in this life.

There are many books on the subject. If you have read a book on the subject, you should be able to handle it perfectly. Can you? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to read a book and presto, you have changed your life. The truth we have to choose to implement the principles into our lives.

Choice is a governing principle of the universe and we are bound to it. You had to choose to take you first breath and you have to choose to implement the techniques that you read in a book. I have read over two hundred books on self-help. If you want the success from what you read, you have to choice to implement them into your life.

Fear is an emotion and it is a action word. What I mean about fear being an action word. You have to take an action with fear. When you feel it, you will hide, fight or flight. Sometimes, we experience shock at the same time we feel fear. If this has happened to you, then you have added another problem.

As a little girl, my oldest brother thought it was funny to take me and through me up into the air. He would say, he wanted to see if I could hit the ceiling. The ceilings were ten feet in height. It would have impossible for me to actually hit it.

A two year old doesn’t understand that concept. Every time, he threw me up. I would scream and cry. With each toss, I held my breath. I was experiencing shock and fear at the same time, so they became attacked to it each other.

In the future, my mind brought up the shock every time I would even stand on a chair. I relieved the fear of being tossed up into the air. It would cause me to be consumed with fear. I relived everything right down to me holding my breath. If I stayed on the chair for too long, I would pass out from not breathing.

When we feel fear, we all hope that it will go away with time. I would have gone to my grave being afraid of any height without me doing something about it. I learned how to go back and release my mind from that frozen moment of being afraid.

I learned how to reprogram my mind to release any memory of being afraid. It has improved my life greatly. Sooner or later, we have to deal with fear or we spend the rest of our life avoiding or medicating our fears. Fear keeps us from growing and it will steal our dreams. You might want to deny what I said but down deep. You know it is true.

How did I get rid of my fear? The first rule of dealing with fear, you have to acknowledge you are afraid and it is okay. Sometime, we are embarrassed to admit that we are afraid to do something. It might make us appear weak.

Somewhere along the way, we promised ourselves that we would always be strong. Weakness was not acceptable. Once you have acknowledge it. You need to look at it. Why does this stop me cold?

You need to look at your fear from all angles so you can understand it. For me, when I asked me mind to back to the first time I felt paralyzing fear. It took me to my brother. I found embracing the moment with love and forgiveness removed the mind from the shock of feeling it. Love is a very healing emotion and you need to give it to yourself daily.

I sent love to myself until I felt the fear drifting out the window that my brother was standing next too. When the fear disappeared out the window, it left me. I sent it away through the window by choosing to let it go.

I knew it had left because I became consumed with a peaceful feeling. It is okay to feel fear. It becomes a problem when you do not allow it to leave you. Sometimes, we make the mistake of holding on it, thinking it is our duty. You can feel the fear and then you need to let it float through you. I hope this helps you. It works for me.

If you want more information, you read it in the book “Hot to Rebuild Shattered Dreams.” I also have a young adult series called “Stones Quest.” It’s a Sci-Fi/Fantasy series. The people are just like you but their technology is completely different. Along with their education, lifestyle and adventure, it is a fun, fast paced adventures read.

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